To get a genuine understanding of how to fix world soccer, it's necessary to have an understanding of how it went so wrong, an exercise which, alas, certain witless, clueless, imbecilic writers who shall remain nameless – maybe – haven't bothered to do.
Thee guys waste a whole bunch of their time – and ours – pounding out bizarre conspiracy theories worthy of a Franz Kafka or a Tinfoil Ted Westervelt demanding that US Soccer officials in general – and Sunil Gulati in particular – tell them precisely when it was they stopped beating their wives.
So now that we're all settling into the swanky new offices here at the new BigSoccer World Headquarters, we're going to over a few of the basics by way of explaining why it is that some people are completely stupid.
As an official of FIFA or one of that organization's six confederations there are three ways to line your pocket. (As lowly federation officials there are other opportunities, mostly involving pocketing FIFA grant money, but that's the petty theft of world soccer, on a par with stealing office supplies or charging strippers on your expense report; yes, stopping it would save some cash but from Zurich's point of view it collectively amounts to little more than a rounding error.):
First, there's kiting tickets, an exercise which has been going on forever: take your allotment, sell them for whatever you can get and pocket the money. Strictly penny-ante stuff.
Our old pal Jack Warner turned it into an art form by not only stealing the tickets – 5000 or so for Germany 2006 which he was not entitled to and had no intention of ever paying for thereby turning it into a no-overhead business – he then ran them through his personal travel agency, bundled them with grossly overpriced hotels and airfares and made a killing.
When FIFA's auditors caught on, the Executive Committee reprimanded him, fined Jack (or his son Daryan, who Warner subsequently named president of the agency) a million dollars – which he also never paid – and officially "forgave" him despite having issued a lifetime ban to an Asian official who was caught selling 12 tickets but who, sad for him, didn't personally control 40 or so FIFA Presidential votes.
If you're looking for Sepp Blatter's fork in the road, this was it. He had more than enough grounds to toss Warner overboard, and if he had, it's likely that Sepp would be enjoying his fourth term, working away on the elusive Nobel Peace Prize and looking forward to the re-election in 2019.
Because this whole entire Justice Dept/FBI/IRS deal which is currently ripping FIFA up started a few years later when Jack's sons set up shop in Miami, smuggling in bags of cash and using it to buy up real estate. As I wrote at the time, Trinidad customs reported to US customs that there was this guy on a Miami flight with $100,000 in US $100 bills and they might want to check him out, US authorities picked him up and he and his brother started singing.
Which led them to Traffic, Blazer, CONCACAF, Webb, their father, the boys down in CONMEBOL and all the rest. All of this is Daryll and Daryan Warner's work. One thing led to another, the DoJ and IRS started following the money tail and now a bunch of guys are looking at long jail terms.
Secondly, FIFA bigwigs make money by peddling their votes, principally for World Cup hosting and Presidential elections.
(This was another opportunity Sepp had to save himself future grief; the Old Guard wanted 2018 and 2022 combined in order to pocket double the bribes.)
Still, the money from the first two sources – even combined – pales in comparison with the real gold mine, the one reliable golden goose which has kept international soccer officials living large for 20 years:
The so-called "marketing rights" to big tournaments and the basic concept goes something like this:
Unlike, say, the NFL, which has it's own ticketing, marketing, licensing, media relations, technical and facilities organizations, FIFA and the Confederations maintain no comparable infrastructure.
Rather, international soccer is just a series of rights holders who peddle these services off to – presumably – the highest bidder. They don't negotiate TV contracts, license t shirts or peddle tickets; the organization which holds the marketing contract does all of that and more.
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